top of page

Reigniting My Love For Writing

August 8th, 2023

 

I used to love being a writer.

Well, before I loved being a writer, I hated writing. I was an advanced English and literature student in high school and spent many many hours drafting, editing, and repressing abject rage over the fact that I was required to pour so much time and energy into what felt like meaningless assignments.


I didn’t give a flying fuck about analyzing the symbolism and themes of books such as “The Red Badge of Courage” or “The Great Gatsby”, or whatever the fuck was on the syllabus back then. The only reason I signed up for AP classes was probably the same as most other students, so that I could better my chances of being accepted into a great university.


The fact that I dropped out of college after 1 year is beside the point.

Despite my (mostly) repressed rage and fury, I was a very good writer. In my AP English/Lit classes, I consistently pulled top grades and excelled in my AP exams. I’m pretty sure I scored an 8 or 9 my senior year. As the captain of my Academic Decathlon team, I brought home gold medals in essay, speech, and interview.

It seems that I have always had a way with words, although back then, I clearly didn’t have the appreciation for it that I do now.

When I was in my early 20s living in New York City, I was pouring my heart and soul into the pursuit of an acting and modeling career. I was finding all kinds of doorways and openings to bookings and decided to share my perspectives and journey with other aspiring and struggling actors by creating a blog called ‘The Actress/Model’.

 

I had no idea that the blog would become what it did.

 

A few times a week (or, let’s be honest, per month), I would publish a post about my most recent audition, why I ignored the advice of popular casting directors, my new headshots, or anything that I was experiencing or learning that I felt was interesting.

The following of my blog quickly grew and before I knew it, I was getting dozens of comments on my posts and my email was routinely filled with requests for advice from people all over the world. People really loved what I had to share, my manner of sharing it, and truly saw me as an authoritative voice in my small little corner of the internet. I was just sharing my thoughts on what I loved and I never expected it to grow in the way that it did. I was constantly feeling humbled by the kindness and appreciation that was shown to me, and I worked really hard to answer comments and emails in a timely manner.

I started noticing patterns in what people would ask me about and then I’d create master posts about the topic so that I could easily link people to what I had already written about. I thought that would ease some of the pressure, but it usually led to more comments and emails filled with questions and requests for advice.

Over time, I began to feel resentful of the time that I spent answering comments and emails. It had become a burden and the thought of writing new posts was daunting because I didn’t have the energy to stay engaged. My list of unanswered emails kept growing and I felt so much guilt over not getting back to people, or doing so in a timely manner. My blog was about all of the things that I had to learn and figure out on my own and I really wanted to offer help to others in a way that I never received. By not being able to keep up with writing and responding to everyone, I felt like I was failing, or letting my readers down.

What I didn’t know back then is that I didn’t have the obligation to respond. At the time, I felt as if I did, as if I owed my readers for showing up and listening to what I had to say. Of course, I was grateful for their presence and attention, but what I now understand is that I didn’t owe them for showing up and reading because what they were reading was filled with value already.


Had I been more savvy and less people pleasing, I would have monetized the advice I was giving via email. That’s the standard now, but back then, people weren’t really doing that on a mass scale. Coaching wasn’t the mega-industry that it is now and it wasn’t until recently that I realized that I was essentially operating as an unpaid life coach for aspiring actors and actresses.


I didn’t understand that I had tapped into an unfilled market and was serving as an example of someone who was living the dream that others could only imagine for themselves. My love for writing, and thus, helping people, was being diminished by my overextending myself and not receiving anything in return for the high value that I was providing to my readers. It’s something that I didn’t recognize until very recently when I allowed myself to reflect back on that time.

When I share my thoughts on my various Instagram posts, I receive so much love from people. The comments are always engaging, with insightful responses from followers or people who just so happen to come across my content. I get compliments in comments and DMs telling me what a great writer I am, asking me to blog, or start a podcast or YouTube channel.

Recently, before launching my new website and this blog that I’m calling my “Letters”, I started asking myself why I don’t write as much as I used to, why I don’t share my thoughts and feelings, why writing feels like a chore instead of something that lights me up. I realize that my experiences around writing are complex in that my first introduction to it was that it *was* a chore, something that I was required to do in order to meet a need or goal and centered around the parameters of what someone else decided was important.

Once I began writing my first blog, purely to express myself and openly share my personal experiences, it felt fun and expansive. I got to showcase my humor and unique voice and that deeply resonated with people. I was teaching people simply by living life in alignment with my own desires. It was my lack of awareness of the truly high value of what I was offering, paired with poor boundaries and no standards for reciprocity that I allowed to taint my experience and send me back into the mindset of “I fucking hate writing”.

If you’ve been following me on Instagram, you will see that I have already been dipping my toes back in, posting more often and sharing my most heartfelt and honest observations about life, healing, sovereignty, and standing in your Divine power, especially as a Woman. I’ve been feeling very inspired and in love with the medium of writing again because I’ve been able to rediscover what was driving me all of those years ago with my blog.

 

I love people. I want to help people.

 

My life has grown leaps and bounds in the past several years and I am so passionate about sharing what I’ve learned as a means of being in service to others. One of my greatest passions is being in service to the

growth and ascension of Women as a collective. The Divine Feminine is activating powerful awakenings all around the world.


Many of us have heard or are hearing Her call to rise into our fullest expression, but don’t know how to get there, how to do it. My own journey is a clear roadmap for others and it’s my pleasure and calling to share my own experiences, knowledge and wisdom with those who are also ready to step into their power, create magical lives, and witness the fruits of the practice of Divine Mastery.

By you being here, reading my words, following my journey, you are getting the chance to see the roadmap laid out for you in detail, with love and devotion to being in service to your own unique journey. When I say ‘roadmap’, I don’t mean do exactly as I do, because your path will be different from mine. However, the fundamental mechanics of what I share can be applied to anyone at any stage of their life experiment.

As a 2/4 Emotional Projector (Human Design), it’s my inherent gift to guide others to experience the fullness and magic of their potential. It is my gift to show you the most efficient and effective ways of finding your unique alignment in order to create success for yourself on whatever path is calling you. I enthusiastically encourage you to read up on Human Design if you are not familiar with the system, who Projectors are, or your own aura type. For me, it was a game changer and something that I will be writing about in the future.

The value that I provide you with is intangible and vast, because I have a gift for cutting through the bullshit and zeroing in on exactly what is needed in the moment. By following my journey, reading the value that I offer, you will be deeply shifted in awareness and, as a result, new pathways will become visible for you to reach the destination of your heart’s desires.

So, this is me dipping my toes diving back into the water, with renewed awareness of my inherent gift and love for self-expression. This letter poured out of me so easily and it felt wonderful to open my heart and mind to share this piece of my journey with you. Thank you so much for being here and for reading this part of my soul. I’ve fallen in love with writing again.

And if what you have read here has opened up something within you that you wish to explore more fully, if you desire my guidance, I have so much more to offer you. :)



With Love & Gratitude,

A logo with the name Andrea Bordeaux and the initials AB







7 comments

7 Comments


Guest
Sep 16, 2023

Hi, lovely. Just catching up on your letters. Thanks for sharing your story and your wisdom. xo, Onalee

Like
Andrea Bordeaux
Andrea Bordeaux
Sep 16, 2023
Replying to

My pleasure! Thank you so much for taking the time to read them, I appreciate you! <3

Like

Widalys Santiago
Widalys Santiago
Aug 10, 2023

Love this letter! I definitely can relate to being a people pleaser. It ultimately is a disservice to ourselves and others, because resentment creeps in and ruins the party. Learning to say “no” or “not right now” when appropriate has become my superpower, and I love it.

Like
Andrea Bordeaux
Andrea Bordeaux
Sep 12, 2023
Replying to

Thank you so much, love! And I'm so glad you've been able to tap into such a wonderful super power! It's a game changer.

Like

Natasha Darius
Natasha Darius
Aug 08, 2023

Hi Andrea! I’ve been following since Run The World. When I found out you were not returning, I had no desire to continue to watch the show. You portrayed my favorite character. Been following you since then. I love this journey you’re on. I appreciate you being so candid and cutting through the bullshit.

Like
Andrea Bordeaux
Andrea Bordeaux
Sep 12, 2023
Replying to

Thank you, lovely. It's my pleasure. <3

Like
bottom of page